Graeme's Weekly Rant

Gross Jelly Beans

2006-06-29T15:54:00.000-03:00

Well, sorry it has taken a long time to make a new rant, its seems that i now have a social life outside of my room, and so, less time for ranting... Anywho, this topic has come to my attention last night while watching the best movie ever created; The Evil Dead.

So i am eatin these here GOURMET jelly beans, because i like to show off that i have money... it was a big bag from wal-mart for $3. Anywho, i am eating them, one at a time, so i can taste each one, and WHAM! i am rushed with a flavor of grossness.... i finish it cuz i paid a lot of cents for them... 300ish to be exact. So i look at the back of the bag to read what flavors are in the bag... almost all the back of the bag is the assorted flavors and a picture of each one... No wonder they last so long, it takes longer to find what kind you are eating then it does to eat it. Mind you there are a lot of good jelly beans, but i am never sure if i will like it or not untill its in my mouth, cuz i can't tell if the jelly bean is brown, or brown with lighter brown spots... HOW COME THEY DON'T JUST USE DIFFERENT COLORS FOR THE SPOTS!!!

so i stare down my bag of gourmet jelly beans and try to decide if i want to take the risk of having some horrible tasting piece of artifical stuff in my mouth or be relaxed by a good tasting one. They aren't jelly bellys... i am not that rich, they are a no-name brand of gourmet jelly beans... a hypocritical statement in itself. Oh well, since i started the bag, i have pondered many times on weather or not i should have purchaced regular jelly beans to quench my thirst for sugar, or to further indulge myself in the grand variety of the gourmet bag.

I didn't exspect such a variety, because gettin the candy was an impulse buy... the word GOURMET just caught my eye... and the price below of $2.97 made my mouth drop that something with the title "GOURMET" would be at such a low price. I was truely amazed that quality can be so cheap. Wal-Mart is my hero for haggling down the price of quality food such as no-name gourmet jelly beans down to something a commoner would be able to purchase.

Well, my fellow blog readers, please leave comments on this topic if you have ever experienced the wide choice in gourmet jelly beans, and to provide any suggestions as to what i should do with the rest of the beans. Thank you for being patient, and I will try to get some more rants in.

Graeme

Unwanted Noise

2006-06-07T22:48:00.000-03:00

Ok, sorry for taking so long to make a rant, but i promise you, that you would have read it once your done seeing what I have on my mind. Enjoying/agreeing on what i have to say... thats another story.

Anywho, what I have to rant about is people who do their own sound effects when doing anything. Weather it is ironing their pants, or jumping on owls like they do in super mario brothers, people who make sound effects with everything they do, is just annoying.

Here are some ways to flip the situation around to make it less annoying;

There are only a few choices you can pick from if you want to deal with people who believe their lives are dubbed 1970's japanese films, and every sound has to be magnified or altered in a certain way. One of which is just walking away from the dude/dude-ette who happens to be doing this, but thats too simple and there is no fun in leaving what could have been one of the greatest times of your life... spending quality time with someone who does their own sound effects...

One good way to deal with people who do their own sound effects is to grab a lawn chair, some pop-corn, and sit down and enjoy this free entertainment... they are the freaks, and this is their show... why pay $9 to watch a movie with over-emphazied noises when you can enjoy, first hand, amature noises. Unlike the movies, where they have fast paced, short views of something awsome happening, you can watch your buddy from whatever view you want, unless its in an earthquake, then yeah, it gonna be a lil shakey... hope you have a neck brace, cuz if something lands on your head in an earthquake, the neck brace will cussion the blow of your chin hitting your chest... and thats whats important. Back to noisy people!

Another fun way to deal with these loonies is to join in the fun of sound effects.... You can laugh your head off, if you are quick to think of some weird sound to produce out of your mouth... otherwise you will just have to realize that this nutcase you are with happens to have more brainpower then you when it comes to making sounds... then maybe you will take into idea my first option and enjoy it all the more. If you do try to keep up with the sound effects made by your friend/peer that you barely tollerate, and are lucky enough... you may have an noise duel-off... OOOOOO!!!! these are exciting... when two people try to out-effect each other in a general situation where nothing of any importance is happening (why else would you be around one of these guys?), and its a battle of witts to see who can out chirp who, where the best squeeker prevails over all others, and where a once and mighty (sane perhaps) individual may realize that it takes a great deal of skill to produce sound effects for hours on end. This indeed is a sight to see...

Just when I get you all pumped up to see a noise duel-off, I will raise the bar even higher... try to make your own theme song as you go throughout the day... you could be intensely tieing your shoe, or hitting the climax of biting into the whole of your baggel, whatever your fancy, personal theme songs are great... people who make sound effects.. they are the crazy ones. Mind you, boredom plays a key roll in this topic, its greatly encouraged to not keep your tune in your head, because you can alter it without anyone knowing.... if you sing it outloud, you can tell where you make mistakes and improve on them for later.

To sum up this topic, if you ever catch someone doing sound effects, no matter how ocward the situation, or how weird you think the person is, make the most of it by watching them, or join in the fun. To those who concider Krunk off the Emperors New Groove a role model, in way that he actually mastered his own theme song, i give you the most amount of encouragement as possible. But yeah, people who do their own sound effects... I will make my own theme song as I sneek up behind you and pounce like a kitten... then spin a bunch, and run away and hide under a couch and think I am the slickest cat in the world.

Reguards,
Graeme

...Target Practice

2006-05-18T21:26:00.000-03:00

Ok, new rant for this week, but I have to get something off my chest that has nothing to do with the rant... I appreciate your comments, for it means you actually took time out of your day to read what I have to say. Please keep in mind I rant about things that don't really bother me, even if I say they do, and I franky won't do much about (except for this topic), but just complain about silly things that I see in the world. Please don't take what I have said seriously, but keep it as something amusing. Thank you and keep on reading and spreading my silly rants around this great world...

OK!!! RANT TIME!!!

PEOPLE WHO PEE ON TOILET SEATS AND DON'T CLEAN IT.... I AM TALKIN TO YOU!

If you have ever seen a public bathroom, or if your blind, felt a public bathroom, you have most likely seen a toilet with yellow stains or drops of unknown liquids surrounding it. What gets me is that people who have to relieve themselves can't take the time to clean up any shots not on target...

The bathroom is a place to relax, get away from the world, or spiffy up to go out into it. You can get rid of some crap in your life, and think about all the major questions in the world today, like "How come I smell like Subway if I don't shower for a day?" or "If black matches everything, how come people dressed fully in it don't seem to fit in with modern society?" Either way, I am stuck on both of those questions and would like some answers to them. If I am sittin on the crapper, waiting for something to happen, I don't want to be worried if the toilet under me has various unine stains and what bacteria and tiny lil civilizations are growing there, I want to relax, and be care-free until I become hungry again.

I will be honnest that I have left the toilet a lil less white after leaving bathroom, but I now clean up after myself all the time. I am ashamed that I have done such a reckless act in my past, but have been tryin to redeem myself via some extra toilet paper and a lil elbow greese.

I am not a perfectionist, far from it. I would just like to go into my thinking room, wherever I may dubbith thee, and see a shiny porcelain throne. Not much to ask, but a lot to do to fix it... cause I am a wanderer...

So all in all, male/female... clean any splashes or accidents, and keep the public happy, or at least the next person after you happy.

Thank you again, and happy commenting!

Graeme

P.S. I have nothing against people in black clothing, it just popped into my mind at the time.

Dumb Names

2006-05-06T23:14:00.000-03:00

Title pretty much sums it up... but i am not talkin just your average day, model american pet names... i am talkin wealthy rich famous jerks who name pets and their children something "exodic"....

You can think what you want, but the rage for the last few years with famous people naming their kids or pets something weird, its just getting annoying... how often do you see some wealthy person just naming their newborn Ashley, Megan, or Samantha? I don't see it... what i see are dumb names like "Maddox", "Zahara" or "Turnup-Face". I don't know about you, but i seen on Oprah (another crazy name) that its bad for the child if they have a different name or its spelled unusually... take my name for example; Graeme... i was emotionally scarred as a child cuz durring valentines day at elementary school...NO ONE SPELLED MY NAME CORRECTLY!!! I ate a lot of glue while this happened, so I could be making this up... (did they have non-toxic glue back then?)

actually i don't care.... BUT SOMEONE MIGHT?!? HHHMMMMM!!!!

O well, I can't tell famous people what to do untill I have more money then them, so I guess it will have to wait. I just don't think its cool at all to give your famous new-born a crazy name... especially one that could be used as weird planets for the power rangers to land on next season... just not cool in my books.

Anywho, i am not saying you have to keep giving babies normal names, let you and your husband/wife pick one you both will like... or if your a single mom/dad... just pretend its a new pokemon, and give it a tuff name like "Spandex".

Thats all I wanted to say, and sorry for it being so late in the week... its been tuff and long

Most Thankful Reguards,

Graeme

White Houses

2006-04-24T22:07:00.000-03:00

Good evening...This weeks blog has nothing to do with presidential events, like people shooting other people and getting away with it, or anything racist... for all of you know that i am anything but racist... hehe... but YES... the rant...

This is something i find inconvenient of houses, or anywhere where there are walls... white walls... sure they may match with everything, or make something look clean and spotless... but as soon as you scratch them, your screwed like a twist tie on a bread bag... you bump into walls, you can see it, if any dent or imperfection on a white wall, you can see it clearly, and sticks out like a sweedish albino in a white toga at a black supremacy meeting.

but silly simalies aside, i don't like white walls... get dirty too easilly and are tough to bring back to their original clean and smooothness (thats right, they so nice that they get 3 o's in smooth). I think that the hippies had a good idea for colors of walls... light brown and a dull orange... easilly hides dirt and orange popcycle stains (who hasn't tried to throw a popcycle at a wall to see if you can get it stuck) while keeping a mellow surrounding, and aren't hard on the eyes when high....

If you are a pet lover, you could always try to see things like they do by painting all your walls grey... or various shades of grey. I am just thinking out loud on that one, but yeah, white walls aren't cool, and are jerks to clean, so, they are something to rant about... same with white cars... you can tell if you hit a puddle, and if your a super genius with a ruler, you can tell how fast they were going by the length of the splash. but yeah, you don't see too many people complaining about mud on their brown cars... usually cuz the brown is a shade of rust... but if the car was originally brown, not many complaints, but if its white... boy do the complaints fly... like a turtle strapped to a fin of a boeing 747.

Anyway... leave your comments, tell your friends about this site, i love reading what you say, and tell me what you think are nice colored walls...

Your pal,
Graeme

funny quote of the week:
jen: "do you want some clam chowder... well, diet clam chowder?"
graeme: "no thanks, its filled with aspertane"
billy: "diet clam chowder?!? thats like asking for lite spam"

Bagels vs Doughnuts

2006-04-10T23:09:00.000-03:00

Greetings friends... first off, leave the anonomous person alone, they got an opinon just as much as you do... if they don't like what i write about, accept it, don't put them down no matter how bady they put me, or my silly ideas down. But please, no fighting... i think that is childish and may be a rant for later on, so stay tuned...

Anywho, to the topic of this week, bagels and doughnuts... I love both, both are great... but what makes them great? Is it whats on them, in them, our is it the "mysterious hole"? i personally think that the dude who invented the hole fer the doughnut was a genius... when i eat a doughnut or bagel, i find the best bite is when you bit into the hole... dunno why, but it's like the climax of the bagel/doughnut scene.... There is a great build of energy to get to the middle, and once you got enough bitten around it, to bite into the hole, i swear, i hear trumpets sounding and some sorta inspirational music jammin in the background... after that, i am just eating away at a piece of food in the shape of a "C"... and C's are boring... "O" is where its at.

O, since I am discussing the topic of doughnuts... yes, timbits are the holes of doughnuts... well, back in the day they were, dunno now, i guess they wouldn't be, but hey, i don't have a degree in Doughnutology and a masters in Loser to be studying doughnuts all the time...
*i am second year*

I understand why some doughnuts now-a-days have no hole, due to yummy cream filling or maybe the doughnut factory couldn't slow down production and the dude who cut the holes was sick with a massive buildup of wax in his ears and just couldn't get a cotton swab on a stick... dunno how he would get sick, but maybe hearing is important in the hole cutting business... O well, some doughnuts are just weird... can't name em off, but when you go to tims or dunkin doughnuts or any local doughnut shop, you will see what i am talkin about...

All in all, if i had the choice of havin a lifetime supply of doughnuts or various bagels, i would choose doughnuts... I am Canadian, its part of our heritage, just as much as burnt toast and peach baskets... and i support doughnuts

well, i would like to hear peoples opinions on which they like better, doughnuts or bagels...

Thank you again for reading these and commenting on them

Graeme

Gettin Gass'd

2006-03-30T22:44:00.000-04:00

Well... you can think this is gonna be a rant about somehow gettin some drugs in you or whatnot, but.... its not.... its about gas.... Bush's reason for tryin to "free" iraq, afganhistan, and any other middle eastern area thats flowin on black gold...

Anywho, to start the rant, i will speak on SUV's, and any sorta vehicle related to it...

They are shown on commercials as vehicles experimented and used on rocky, away from civilization areas of the world... i have no problem if you use them there, cuz thats what they ment for, but just for all around town/city use... YOU ARE A MORON! vans are much better on gas, can provide more area, and are ment for lots of people to be in.... SUV's... they ment for all-terrain... USE THEM ON DIRT ROADS, NOT PAVED... unless you are on our highways... then i have no problem there.

Anyway, Hummers use was for all terrain in the war... now you can see them driving around town all huge and fancy... big chunks of plastic on big tires, and about every minute you drivin it, you loosin a fair bit of money... its like a lotery terminal, those gas tanks, put money in, all you get is some big flashing lights and before you know it, the money is gone and your puttin more back in...

Sports cars... i have nothing against them, go ahead, if you got one, then you got money... insurance is a jerk fer prices... but hey, thats another story... yeah, sports cars, race em, and show off how fast you can waste $20 in gas....

Anywho, you may be asking "Graeme, you are soo much against these vehicles, what do/did you drive?" I used to drive a VW 1992 Eurovan... they are awsome... love it... i don't now cuz i too poor to keep repairing it, and now, i walk/bike everywheres.... WHY? cuz i can get from one place to another for free and get some exercize in while i am at it... but i live in town.

For those who don't live in town... get a van if theres a lot of you, a Truck if you got a lot to carry, a car if its just a couple people (sports car is up to you and your income), SUV if you live in the mountains, and a Hummer if you are in the middle of a war overseas...

Otherwise, walk, enjoy nature in your big city or small town... eat some caulifower or a left over bag of prezels from your party the night before, i don't care... but yeah... gas is high cuz we apparently "runnin low" or middle eastern billionaires gettin old and wanna get as much money as they can for themselves before they bite the dust, either way, do what you want....i am...

give my reguards to the soldiers over in around the oil fields that pee in them... fight the power!

Graeme

Cauliflower Hour

2006-03-20T16:39:00.000-04:00

so... my rant this week is on a topic that has been bothering me for some time now...

When I was a child, my parents told me that the more color thats in a vegetable, the more nutritious it is supposed to be for you.... I never thought much of it... Untill one fateful day I was told to eat my cauliflower becuase it was good for me...

CAULIFLOWER HAS NO COLOR... and thereby, with my parents health tips, has the nutritional value of a sugar coated ice cube. Mind you I love broccoli... i think its great with melted cheese and fun to eat.... cauliflower is just gross... tastes like gross, and who eats little white trees? i can understand broccoli cuz they look like trees cuz they green, and beavers eat trees, and the beaver is the national animal of Canada, so we have to eat it, logically.

Anyway, I could be wrong, cauliflower could be the albino form of broccoli, or the bleached version, and there could be some nutritional value, but I choose to base my opinion on the amount of facts I know, or lack there of, but anywho, my lesson for the kids of the world today is; Eat broccoli, and set flame to all cauliflower... or feed it to your pets... either way, get rid of it because according to parent health tips, it has no nutritional value or meaning in the life of a human.

I am not bein racist... saying green is allpowerfull and death to cauliflower, but saying to parents, don't feed your kids white vegetables after saying that the nutritional value of them is based on color...

If anyone has childhood confusion such as this, post it for the world to see... or anyone who knows of this site to see... but yeah... boo on caulifower

Thank you for posting responses, good or bad, thanks for at least reading this...

...death to the cauliflower infidels... j/k

To-Fuey

2006-03-08T22:06:00.000-04:00

TOFU..... Just when you thought self consious people couldn't get anymore absurd... they move to beans for any form of meat...

Tofu is bad for you... i will tell you this... What keeps your teeth strong and makes them harder to break.... REAL MEAT! to tear off a chunk of steak with your teeth helps make them stronger and less likely to break cuz the muscles around them are bein worked out... With tofu, its like eatin a various meat flavored pudding... PUDDING IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR KIDS...and me... and anyone else who likes pudding...

anyway... so what is meat clogs arteries and aparently "makes you fat" and all that balloney... IT DOESN'T!!! I hate to break it to you, but if your fat, its most likely hereditary or you eat to much meat... doesn't meen you should convert to beans all the time, means you should convert to a SALAD... not a tofu salad... a regualar lettus'd, tomato'd, various cheese'd, and light amount of bacon'd salad...

Mind you i got nothing against vegetarians, they do some crazy stuff... but thats what peanut butter is for...

If you want to go biblical... GOD GAVE US CARNIVOROUS FRONT TEETH TO EAT MEAT... not to eat meat flavored beans...

I personally hate tofu... the thought of using it is just absurd and wrong...

If you wanna loose weight... exercize... but turning fat into muscle has me in a pickle aswell, loose weight in fat, but muscle weighs more then fat... so if you gain weight exercizing, that means it is working?!? o well, if anyone knows the explaination tell me...

Summary: TOFU IS SATAN and according to the simpsons, Adam in the garden of eden ate bacon... not bacon flavored tofu...

That is all, and thanks for listening

Graeme

P.S. Yes i did get that previous rant from Jason, the idea of it, but i just agreed and put my own opinion in my own words.

Problems with Partymix

2006-02-27T13:53:00.000-04:00

So I like to eat snacks, thats a fact, and party mix is one of my favorites, but there is one thing wrong with it.... PRETZELS!!!

who thought of putting pretzels in party mix, they don't match in color or texture, and i find they ruin party mix. Party mix is soft, but slightly crunchy, not supposed to be toasted bread covered in salt...

Don't get me wrong, i love pretzels, but they don't belong in party mix... when i get through with a bag of party mix, all i have left is a bag of pretzels.... they just annoy me cuz everything has a spicy taste to it, or somehow tastes really good when mixed, but if i have pretzels or pretzel sticks (depending on my brand name of partymix), they don't fit in, something in one side of my mouth is slightly crunchy while if there is pretzels on the other side, they are more crunchy and i risk hurting myself due to various textures in one handfull of partymix

same goes with celery and cheeze wiz... if i was to have celery and cheeze wiz, i would lick out the cheeze wiz first... then eat celery, cuz it messes with how you eat, mmmMMmmmm... celery on one side, cheeze wiz on the other, and BAM! i either bit my tongue, inside of my cheek or hurt a tooth... there is just no winning against those things....

back to party mix... i do enjoy shreddies in it cuz they taste good mixed, unlike pretzels and the rest of the party mix... i don't know... maybe its just i am picky about it or something, but it does tick me off when there is a bowl of party mix on a table at a party and you can easilly see that pretzels are the dominating factor in the bowl... its like they reproduce to gradually take control of the party mix bowl and claim it as their own...

i think if they should take pretzels out of party mix, and if you want them in it, GO BUY A BAG OF PRETZELS! otherwize you will end up with a small bag of pretzels when your done the party mix...

and thats all i have to say about that....

Graeme

ps. i changed it so that anyone can post a comment now instead of havin to sign up or crap like that.

First Rant

2006-02-22T13:10:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I am kinda frusterated with some stuff goin on, and I need to rant about something else to cool myself down... here it goes....

What is up with the middle finger? people use it for tellin people off, some for pointing (not that the index finger is doin a bad job), and some for right-clicking their mouse (left-clicking if your left-handed). Anywho, I don't understand its name... "middle" finger... all other fingers or joints on the hand have a name; Pinky, Ring, Index/Pointer, Thumb... WHAT ABOUT THE MIDDLE FINGER?!?!

Did they run out of names for fingers? "OOOooo, lets start with the smallest and work our way to the top." and when they got there, "uggg.... I am all out of names." Well, THIS DOESN'T SIT WELL WITH ME!

I think we should start calling our middle finger something else. If anyone has any input on names, please post them, for I would take into concideration what I would call them after I get some idea's. Maybe the Splinter finger becuase when you sprain a finger, its usually that one because it sticks out the most and needs or gets to be the split for other sprained fingers. I am just thinking outloud on my new found blog.

I don't know, Chris said this would be a good idea because I have some funny/random ideas in my head. Maybe its because I have a lot of free time to waste infront of my computer.

Anyway, Middle finger... your name will be changed someday, and when that day comes, you will be proud. Heck, if we are lucky, the toes will get some names too, I am thinking they are feeling left out becuase they all don't have names...

Well, thats all for now, maybe next weeks will be better, who knows?

Graeme

Starting off...

2006-02-22T00:14:00.000-04:00

Ok, first post of my Blog, woot for me, i am awsome, and its on the internet, so you know its true...

soooo.... uggg.... whoever reads this, post something, cuz :
1. i am awsome
2.you can be to if you write something on this
3.tune in once a week, a random day unless i get a specific day off from work
4. i am still awsome
5.and i don't wanna look like a looser...

other then that, thank you and welcome!